“The reason I don’t agree with the Christian faith is because of the idea that the wife has to submit to the husband simply based on gender.” Someone made this honest statement to me at a community event, and from this moment forward, I have been aware of a growing rejection of the Gospel by women who feel the Bible discriminates against the female gender.
Today I want to bring some clarity to God’s idea of how He purposes for a husband and wife to function as a married couple. An excellent place to start is by looking in the beginning, when God first revealed His plan for the family.
Genesis 1:26-28 26 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all[b] the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
We see from the beginning of the Bible that both men and women are created in God’s image and likeness. We are spirit beings, children of God. This is who we are. We also see both men and women were blessed by God, both were instructed to multiply, both were given a joint commission to take authority in the earth. This is what we are to do… together. Here is another Scripture from the beginning of the Bible:
Genesis 2:18 18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
This verse was written after God instructed Adam to name the animals, and the animals were male and female. First, the animals were not alone in their species. Second, they were made to reproduce after their kind. God wanted the human race to enjoy life together and He wanted us to have families, so it wasn’t good that Adam, a male, did not have a female counterpart.
I must take a moment here to briefly address single women. If you are single, you are complete in a relationship with God and you are still able to fulfill your purpose, whether or not you have children. Christ is your authority. Your relationship with God is not lacking if there is not a man in it. The same is true for a single man. Male or female, you are valuable just for being you.
The King James version of Genesis 2:18 uses “help meet” in the translation. The Hebrew word translated “help meet” or “helper” is ezer and it is only used in the Old Testament in the context of vitally important and powerful acts of rescue and support. It a person who is capable to come to the aid of another. The word is never used to show status or position as a subordinate. In fact, the word ezer is often used to describe God coming to the aid of His people. In Genesis 2:18 and 20, the word ezer is used with the Hebrew word kenedgo, translated “suitable for him.”
This is good news. The wife is a partner to the husband, someone he can reign in life together with. She is not someone the husband has to feel is a weight to him. She is not his ball and chain. Rather, she is a strong, capable person who is meant to know her God and do exploits. The born again wife is a spirit being, recreated to be like God. The spirit-filled woman is a person who has the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead residing and empowering her in life. She has the name of Jesus, to take authority over anything that is not in alignment with God’s kingdom purpose. She is a vessel of the Lord’s to anoint and flow through in supernatural manifestations to speak and act on God’s behalf. As an eternal child of God, she is not underneath her husband, she is not behind him; she is beside him, seated in heavenly places in Christ. She has been gifted with intellect, perspective, abilities, talents, resources, and strength. She is meant to grow spiritually so her mind, her emotions, and her body are under her authority in purity. This is God’s woman; this is a good wife.
Genesis 3:16 “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”
On any team, there has to be one person as the head, otherwise there will be confusion and disorder. Anytime you get two people together, there will be some disagreement. Order in the family is for the purpose of harmony and unity. The head makes the final decisions and bears the most responsibility. The Bible teaches the husband is the head of the wife, Note the Bible does not say the wife is the tail. The wife walks in authority, authority that is submitted to her husband. The husband is like the president of the home, making the wife the vice president, and the two of them exercise their authority in love and humility, leading in life together. A good husband will recognize and honor the gifts and callings on his good wife. He will value her for who she is, what she does, and what God has given her.
The Good Wife will know her identity in Christ and honor her husband’s role as they lead in life together.